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living the life

4 June, 2008

One of my favorite quotes is by Henry David Thoreau:

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”

<— It’s over there. In my sidebar.

A couple of years ago on my twenty-fourth birthday, I made a discovery. My life was not what I had imagined. I had always thought that at that point in my life, I would be finished with school, married, and have children. (One out of three for those keeping track…)

I didn’t imagine that I would be working at a job I despise, much less driving an hour everyday to do it. I didn’t imagine that by this point I would have already been married for nearly eight years. I didn’t imagine I would have made some of the mistakes I have made, nor did I imagine I would have learned the lessons I did from those mistakes. My life is very little like I had imagined it so long ago. But the funniest thing struck me today: those visions and imaginings were made by a much younger, less experienced version of myself.

What I used to imagine and what is actually true are totally different things. And really, I’m very okay with that. My goals and dreams are in totally different directions than they once were. Law school had always been a possibility, but now it’s very much a reality. Ryan and I do want to have children, but we’ve managed to prioritize our lives and wait until we’re truly ready. We have learned to enjoy the time we have together because we know from watching friends and family that our lives will greatly change once we have children. Plus, going to law school is hard enough without a newborn, yo.

So in two and a half months, I will be moving confidently in the direction of my dreams. I will begin to forge the relationships that will help me in the future, change the way I think about things, and gain the knowledge necessary for me to become an attorney.

And you know what? I am living the life the smarter, older me has imagined. Finally.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Aunt Tine permalink
    4 June, 2008 2:35 pm

    You are realizing now what it takes most people a lifetime to realize…I’m so proud of you! And it’s a very satisfying thing to realize, if you ask me. Not everything in your life will always work out the way you thought it might, but it’s what’s meant to be. And if you can be “very okay” with that, then you’ve grown beyond your years. How in the heck did that happen…you’re supposed to stay “my little niece Missy” forever!!!!!!

  2. 4 June, 2008 3:07 pm

    I really love this post. It’s very introspective, and makes me wonder about my own life: the good, and the less good.

    I’m very happy for you that your life is taking shape though, Lisslo. The thing is, plans don’t always unfold in the neatest of ways. But life is all the more interesting because of that.

  3. 5 June, 2008 8:19 am

    Aunt Tine: Hee hee… Thank you. It definitely seems like a very grown-up kind of thing to be thinking about.

    Rezzie: *hugs*

  4. Llama Momma permalink
    5 June, 2008 11:34 am

    I’m glad that you are happy. I’ve said it before…I’ll say it again. I’m so stinkin proud of you!!

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